Q: Why do women decide to become Surrogates?  Am I a good candidate for becoming a Surrogate?

A:  There are many potential “reasons” the idea to become a Surrogate is sparked; however, the main reason stated by Surrogates is they are sympathetic to those unable to have children on their own. Oftentimes, for instance, women are driven by their compassion for a friend, co-worker, or relative who they have watched go through infertility or pregnancy loss. A number of Surrogates report feeling empathy for gay/lesbian friends or family members who need the help of a third party to have children, and may have experienced prejudices from certain adoption agencies. Many times, even after the fore mentioned become parents, the seed has been planted, so to speak, and a woman contemplating surrogacy or egg donation feels compelled to find someone in a similar predicament to help. 

Surrogates typically have a history of uncomplicated and pleasant pregnancies. They value the gift of parenthood and have a healthy and supportive relationship with their spouse or partner (when applicable). They are oftentimes women who have a desire to help others in general, and they may consider this to be an opportunity to help somebody else in one of the most important and meaningful ways possible. Surrogates usually receive compensation, which certainly is an added incentive for them and their spouses/partners (when applicable); however, we at Family Source believe strongly that the financial aspect should definitely not be the #1 motivator.

In a nutshell, personal gratification and financial compensation tend to be the primary benefits to Surrogacy for women who: enjoy being pregnant and are ready to deal with the physical and mental repercussions that accompany pregnancy/childbirth, are certain they will not form a “maternal” attachment to the baby/ies they are carrying; are willing to follow a fairly intense medication protocol (which will likely include injections); and who have a stable and supportive home environment.

Q: Why do women become Egg Donors?  Am I a good candidate for becoming an Egg Donor?

A: The most common reason women become Egg Donors is they have a genuine altruistic wish to help infertile women/couples get pregnant.  Like Surrogates, some Egg Donors report being inspired by empathy for a friend, co-worker or relative they have witnessed going through infertility or pregnancy loss. Other Egg Donors do not necessarily “know” anyone personally who has had reproductive issues, but still have a desire, once exposed to the concept of egg donation, to assist someone else in this remarkable way. Oftentimes, women who become Egg Donors have an internal personally characteristic—a particularly strong sense of compassion—that drives them to help others in general.

In addition to having a genuine desire to assist a couple or individual in family building, a woman considering egg donation should be healthy, of above average intelligence, and familiar with her family’s physical/mental health history (or be able to access this information). As far as physical appearance is concerned, there is more of a likelihood that an Egg Donor will be chosen if she is considered average looking or above; however, each potential Recipient Parent/s will have their own version of what constitutes physically attractiveness. In addition to physical description requirements, many Recipient Parents will choose Egg Donors based on their personality traits, hobbies, interests and/or intellect.  Egg Donors usually receive compensation, and this is clearly an added incentive for them and their spouses/partners (when applicable); however, we at Family Source believe strongly that the financial aspect should definitely not be the #1 motivator.

In a nutshell, personal gratification and financial compensation are the primary benefits to egg donation for women who: do not view their eggs as their offspring from a maternal aspect (i.e., they recognize they are passing on their genetics, but do not consider themselves to be the “mother” to any resulting children from their egg donation); are healthy overall and have attractive mental and/or physical traits, are willing to follow a fairly intense medication protocol (which will likely include injections); and who have support from either a spouse/partner, friend or family member with whom they can share thoughts and feelings with as they go through their egg donation experience.

Q: How many times can I be an Egg Donor?

A: Usually the reproductive endocrinologist will not recommend more than six  (6) donations in a life-time.

Q: Can I be a Surrogate or an Egg Donor if my tubes are tied?

A: Yes.  With the IVF procedure, the embryos will be implanted directly into your uterus; therefore, having your tubes tied does not affect your ability to be a Surrogate. 

Q: What is Gestational Surrogacy? 

A: A Gestational Surrogate has no genetic link to the child/ren she is carrying; rather, the egg is provided either by the Intended Mother or an Egg Donor. To learn more about Gestational Surrogacy, click HERE.

Q: Are there side effects from the medications I would take as a Surrogate or an Egg Donor?    

A: We at Family Source are not medical professionals; however, we are familiar with most of the typically used medications for IVF protocols. In addition to reading through the general protocol in our sections on this website addressing the Surrogate process and the Egg Donor process please review this list of the most commonly used medications for IVF protocols.

It is important to note, women respond differently to these medications: In most cases, very few side effects, if any, are experienced, but it is possible that more adverse reactions may occur among some patients. Some potential side effects are: mild bruising and/or soreness from shots, headaches, mood swings, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, functional cysts (approx. 15% of IVF patients will develop), and in extreme cases, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, a condition which, fortunately, is pretty rare. It is most important to work with a reputable infertility clinic that 1) has a good track record of avoiding ovarian hyperstimulation among its patients and 2) has the expertise needed to treat the syndrome if it should occur. Your reproductive endocrinologist will answer any additional questions you have in regards medications and their possible side effects.

Q: Why do people need Surrogates and/or Egg Donors?

A: There are basically two groups of people who need Surrogates and/or Egg Donors to help in their family building endeavors (in the event they choose not to adopt). The first group (discussed below) includes infertile women or couples. The second group includes gay or single males. For obvious reasons, gay or single men who are interested in becoming fathers, but who choose not to pursue adoption, will need to find a woman to carry a baby/ies for them. In this case, they will need to determine whether they are interested in pursuing Traditional Surrogacy or Gestational Surrogacy with an Egg Donor.  Since, as mentioned above, it is clear why gay or single males who want to be fathers need to turn to surrogacy, below we will concentrate on addressing some of the reasons infertile women (or heterosexual couples) may need the services of a Surrogate and/or an Egg Donor.

There are many potential reasons a woman may not be able to carry a baby (creating the need for a Surrogate), and a variety of conditions that could prohibit a woman from using her own eggs to conceive (creating the need for an Egg Donor). It’s also fairly commonplace, in terms of assisted reproduction, to need both the services of a Surrogate and an Egg Donor—thus, a Gestational Surrogate would carry the baby/ies created by an Egg Donor’s eggs and the Intended Father’s (or Sperm Donor’s) sperm. This is a subject that can be discussed in great length; however, we would just like to touch on a few of the most typical reasons a couple/individual may need to turn to Surrogacy and/or Egg Donation to create or add to their family.

The need for a Surrogate may exist when a woman does not have a uterus, due to a gynecological cancer for example, or when she has a syndrome known as MRKH (Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser Syndrome), in which she is born without a uterus (or with an under-developed uterus), and in many instances, without a vagina (or with an under-developed vagina). A large percentage of women with MRKH have perfectly functioning ovaries; therefore, Surrogacy has provided a wonderful solution in allowing them to use their own eggs and pass on their genetics to their future child/ren. 

Even when a woman’s uterus and all of her other gynecologic organs are in tact, there are still many potential conditions that could prevent her from getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy. Some factors that may cause infertility are fibroids (benign tumors of the uterus), endometriosis (when endometrial cells form outside the uterus), blockage or scarring of the fallopian tubes, and cervical incompetence.  About 10% of infertile women have unexplained infertility, in which a cause is really never determined, and another portion of the infertile community suffers from the devastating loss of recurrent miscarriage, defined as three or more consecutive miscarriages before twenty weeks gestation.

Finally, even when a woman is be able to carry a pregnancy, from a physical standpoint, there are many possible health reasons (for example, heart conditions, lupus, other autoimmune diseases, etc.) that make it unadvisable for her to become pregnant, because it could be potentially harmful to herself or the baby she would be carrying.

The reasons for needing an Egg Donor are different, on many levels, than those pertaining to the need for a Surrogate. In the case where the Recipient Mother is carrying the baby, the issue may be directly related to her egg quality or a problem with her genetics (for example, a chromosomal abnormality that she could pass on to her children). She may have had her ovaries removed (or had a full hysterectomy) due to cancer or another serious gynecologic problem. Other reasons to need the assistance of an Egg Donor are premature menopause, under-developed or malfunctioning ovaries, or poor egg quality in general due to age or other various causes. Recipient Mothers can achieve pregnancy and carry a baby successfully, but they need another woman’s eggs (genetic material) to make this a possibility.

Q: Does Family Source accept Intended Parents who are unmarried?

A: Absolutely. We do not discriminate against any person based on marital status.

Q: What if I’m not affiliated with a specialist (reproductive endocrinologist)?

A:  Family Source can recommend many highly qualified reproductive endocrinologists to you.

Q: How many embryos are usually transferred? *

A: This can vary on all different aspects.  The reproductive endocrinologist will guide you in making a well-informed decision, based on several factors, one of which is embryo quality. Typically, if the embryos are considered to be of very good or excellent quality, the reproductive endocrinologist will recommend that two embryos are transferred. Some reproductive endocrinologists will suggest transferring three or more embryos, especially if the quality is considered poor or below average.  The Intended Parents and Surrogate will need to agree (and this will be in the contract) how many babies the Surrogate is willing to carry. If she is not willing to carry more than two, for example, and the Intended Parents and Surrogate are unwilling to reduce, the reproductive endocrinologist will likely advise that no more than two are transferred.

* We are not medical professionals and do not claim to have the medical knowledge you need to make the important decisions you will make throughout the process.  When working with our agency, you will be referred to a reputable infertility clinic (reproductive endocrinologist) that will provide you with professional medical advice.

Q: How much contact will I have with my Intended Parents or Surrogate throughout the process and beyond?

A: This is a decision you will need to make depending on your own level of comfort ability. Some Intended Parents prefer a lot of contact throughout the pregnancy; i.e., regular updates via e-mail and/or phone, and the expectation to attend most (if not all) of the doctor appointments (RE and OB) with their Surrogate. It is highly important to them to be “included” in the pregnancy. Similarly, some Surrogates also like the prospect of a close relationship with their Intended Parents—they may be disappointed if the Intended Parent/s did not maintain regular contact with them throughout the pregnancy and beyond. Many Surrogates and Intended Parents hope to have a life-long friendship—even after the birth of the baby/ies—and in many cases, this is a completely realistic notion.

A percentage of Intended Parents and Surrogates commit to a fairly low level of contact—perhaps occasional updates or phone calls—but do not necessarily want a close relationship throughout the pregnancy and after. This may be viewed by some as a “business relationship” of sorts. The Intended Parent/s may not be able to (or may choose not to) attend doctor appointments and may not see the Surrogate very often (or at all) throughout the pregnancy. A lot of Surrogates may also prefer this type of relationship because, although they are fulfilled in helping someone else have children, it isn’t crucial to them that they develop a strong relationship with their Intended Parent/s.  Of course there are many degrees of what constitutes a “close” relationship, and there are many scenarios that are somewhere in between the different ends of the spectrum mentioned above.  We at Family Source find it most important that, regardless of the expectations you have of your Intended Parent-Surrogate relationship, you are on the same page when entering into an contract together and make every effort to follow through with your agreements.

Q: What if the Surrogate or Egg Donor backs out?

A: If you match with a Surrogate or Egg Donor and she decides not to go forward before the egg retrieval or transfer has taken place (although, due to our intense pre-screening process it’s unlikely this will occur)—or if, during medical or psychological screening it is determined there is a problem that disqualifies her from becoming a Surrogate or Egg Donor— will match you with another Surrogate or Egg Donor at no additional charge.

Q: What are the laws regarding surrogacy in the United States and around the world? *

A:  Family Source will only work with Surrogates who reside in the United States. There currently is no nationwide law regarding surrogacy in the United States; rather, each state has its’ own surrogacy laws.  Fortunately, our agency is located in Illinois—one of the MOST surrogacy-friendly states in the United States.  Keep in mind, even if you live somewhere where surrogacy or “paid surrogacy” is considered illegal (or the laws are undefined) this does not mean you cannot pursue surrogacy to build your family. It simply means that you will want to work with a Surrogate who is willing to deliver in a “surrogacy-friendly” state. A state is considered surrogacy-friendly when there are no residency requirements for the Intended Parents and a birth certificate (pre-birth order) can be issued without court proceedings. Surrogacy laws in the United States and around the world are ever-changing; thus, we advise that you verify the most current laws in your state with an attorney who specializes in this area. 

* We at Family Source can help you find out what the surrogacy laws are in your particular state; however, because we are not attorneys, we cannot advise you legally. When working with our agency, you will be referred to a reputable collaborative reproduction attorney who can provide you with professional legal counsel.

Q: What are the benefits to surrogacy vs. adoption?

A:  Adoption and surrogacy are both wonderful ways to create or add to families—and we are not necessarily promoting one or the other or stating that either option is “better.” However, as a surrogacy agency, we feel it is our responsibility to provide you with some of the reasons people may choose surrogacy vs. adoption.  We hope this information will help you determine the route that is best for you. 

One of the major benefits to surrogacy, is that in most cases, at least one of the parents has the opportunity to be biologically related to their future child/ren. With Gestational Surrogacy, much of the time, the Intended Mother is using her own eggs and the Intended Father is using his sperm—thus, the baby/ies created are the genetic offspring of both parents. Even when, for example, an Egg Donor or a Sperm Donor is used, again, at least one of the parents will pass on his/her genetics to the child/ren conceived.  Either way, even if both an Egg Donor and a Sperm Donor are used—or even with Traditional Surrogacy, in which the Surrogate is providing her own egg and is thus the “genetic mother” to the baby/ies she is carrying—the advantage to the Intended Parents (as opposed to adoption) is they at least can CHOOSE the genetic material they are passing along to their potential children. With adoption, there is no choice. This is not necessarily a bad thing—and again, we do not mean to come across as biased—this is simply a fact. For many Intended Parents, it is desirable to have a genetic link if at all possible, and surrogacy provides them with this opportunity.

Children conceived via surrogacy are done so with intent. Women who choose to become Surrogates are fertile—they have their own children and can have more if they so choose. They have made a conscious and well thought out decision to become Surrogates. They have endured doctor appointments, medications, poking and prodding, and probably some personal inconveniences because they want to help someone else achieve their family building dream. On the other hand, it is not all that unusual, in terms of adoption, for the birth mother to change her mind—even when she has already agreed to give up her baby to the adoptive parents. It’s perfectly understandable that a birth mother would change her mind, especially after giving birth, but again, we just want to point out the different perspectives.

Finally, if Intended Parents and their Surrogate choose to have a close (or “somewhat close”) relationship throughout the pregnancy—the Intended Parents have the opportunity to be completely involved in the pregnancy and birth experience.  Of course, what matters most of all is the child not the pregnancy; however, for some women, especially those who have had their fertility taken away from them, or for some men, who truly are interested in “going through a pregnancy” from beginning to end, this is certainly an added bonus.

Again, we acknowledge that adoption is an absolutely beautiful way to create a family, and we are not trying to sway potential Intended Parents to make any decisions in regards to what feels right to them. There are certainly risks with all of the options, and pros and cons from many angles.  However, we are just so grateful that we live in a world today where we have so many choices. Domestic adoption, international adoption, surrogacy, egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, embryo adoption—we are thankful that all of these alternatives exist. We at Family Source simply encourage you to explore all of your options to determine the one with which you are most comfortable.

For more answers to your surrogacy and infertility related questions, please visit some of the sites on our Helpful Links page.